Recently, in a conversation with my dear friend B, she narrated an incident which she had seen/heard of, wherein when a wife disclosed her past to her husband, he took it personally and started behaving badly. or something to that effect. but you get the picture. So that led to a discussion on honesty, wherein we differed. According to her, honesty is super integral to relationships- you need to tell everything and then if someone cant handle any of the truth, tough luck! My take was a little more...how should i say, cynical? practical? anyway, my take was that honesty is a highly overrated virtue, and in day to day life, we just cant handle many of the truths which are placed in front of us. I gave her examples of husbands-wives, bestest of friends, sisters even, who despite sharing their whole lives, and all the gory details...will leave certain things out, will lie at certain times.
Don't get me wrong...it's not like im urging the world to lie to all and sundry, nor am i trying to say that the world is an awful place and everyone lies to everyone, so don't trust even the souls closest to you. There are situations when honesty is THE need of the hour, and its one of the most basic ingredients to a good, successful relationship- whichever kind it may be. You cant do without it at all. My point is simply that, dishonesty is a phenomenon which is very natural, and one doesnt really think before tweaking the truth, or withholding certain pieces of info. The reasons for this may be numerous- either to make someone feel nice or to avoid certain unpleasant retorts- its endless really. Some people exaggerate and exaggerate (one of my very dear friends is living proof of that), but would you call them dishonest? There's something very negative about the term, giving it a very "immoral" sort of feel- which i have a problem with.
So while honesty is a virtue, dishonesty is not really a vice. It's a part of who we are, inherently.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
the greatest epic EVER
Mahabharata.
its one of those constant, persistent phenomena in my life which has been there practically forever. legend goes that as a naughty, wild 2 year old, i used to sit with my grandmothers and watch mahabharata and ramayana back-to-back, and i could apparently recite their dialogues even in my sleep. thus, i don't remember ever watching mahabharata for the first time. but i do remember that as a child, i was always more partial to it than towards the other great epic, ramayana. initially, it was because the former tv show was better than the latter; later on in life, goaded by certain people who were more partial to ramayana, i read both the books, by c.rajagopalachari (his mahabharata is one of the finest books ever) and realized that i was still as partial to mahabharata! it can be attributed to two main things- a childhood fascination with the tv show (i mean COME ON...its one of the best things indian television has EVER shown!) and a genuine preference for complex characters.
i absolutely, positively LOVE the show; its one of the bestest things Indian television could ever produce and i salute to the timeless quality which it has. its been more than 20 years since they aired it, and i can still watch it with as much enthusiasm as i probably used to as a 2 year old. the songs are brilliant, the dialogues are super duper cool, the actors were tailor made to play the characters they did (i cant think of a single miscast person in the show) and the whole grandeur was fantabulous...i love it!
on a more serious, 'adult' level of analysis, i find the sheer complexity of characters fascinating. as a student of psychology (ya it makes me a superior being in every way :P) i have a certain sense of partiality towards the grey areas of human existence- i understand how no human being is perfect, and everyone has secrets, everyone has issues with the world...and sometimes intense love is as harmful, if not more, than intense hatred. thats precisely what mahabharat stands for. none of the characters (even the 'god' Krishna) has ever been portrayed as the greatest thing mankind would ever see- they were all flawed, all caught up with their own ego hassles and power struggles,every single character comes with their own bag and baggage, and has their own agendas in life....much like normal individuals. and as a viewer/reader, you are allowed to choose who you prefer- the sometimes good people who are on the side of wrong, or the sometimes bad people who are the upholders of the truth. i love how you are allowed to get irritated with yudhishtir when he starts to flaunt too much of 'holier than thou' attitude and how you feel like sympathizing with duryodhana when he dies all alone in the battlefield. i love how despite karna being on the 'bad' side and him doing some very ungentlemanly like things (like joining duryodhan and gang in insulting draupadi) you cant help but feel just so bad for the guy. i couldnt agree more with shekhar kapur when he describes karna as "the most tragic hero in all of literature". i love how each character, male or female, is so neatly etched out (except maybe the two random Nakul and Sahdev...poor guys never really got any presence anywhere!).
there's also a familial component to the obsession with mahabharata i.e. many members of the family (grandmom, parents being top of the list) could write a thesis on the subject. once, my grandmom and i watched 16 episodes back to back in a single day...neither of us even thinking of taking a break and watching something else (the good old days of video cassettes...sigh) we are the kind of people who get irritated if someone or something interrupts us in the middle of an episode...despite having seen each and every single episode at least a million times.
but i have never really met too many people of my generation who are as obsessed about the show or the epic as i am...many conversations are already running through my head...
its one of those constant, persistent phenomena in my life which has been there practically forever. legend goes that as a naughty, wild 2 year old, i used to sit with my grandmothers and watch mahabharata and ramayana back-to-back, and i could apparently recite their dialogues even in my sleep. thus, i don't remember ever watching mahabharata for the first time. but i do remember that as a child, i was always more partial to it than towards the other great epic, ramayana. initially, it was because the former tv show was better than the latter; later on in life, goaded by certain people who were more partial to ramayana, i read both the books, by c.rajagopalachari (his mahabharata is one of the finest books ever) and realized that i was still as partial to mahabharata! it can be attributed to two main things- a childhood fascination with the tv show (i mean COME ON...its one of the best things indian television has EVER shown!) and a genuine preference for complex characters.
i absolutely, positively LOVE the show; its one of the bestest things Indian television could ever produce and i salute to the timeless quality which it has. its been more than 20 years since they aired it, and i can still watch it with as much enthusiasm as i probably used to as a 2 year old. the songs are brilliant, the dialogues are super duper cool, the actors were tailor made to play the characters they did (i cant think of a single miscast person in the show) and the whole grandeur was fantabulous...i love it!
on a more serious, 'adult' level of analysis, i find the sheer complexity of characters fascinating. as a student of psychology (ya it makes me a superior being in every way :P) i have a certain sense of partiality towards the grey areas of human existence- i understand how no human being is perfect, and everyone has secrets, everyone has issues with the world...and sometimes intense love is as harmful, if not more, than intense hatred. thats precisely what mahabharat stands for. none of the characters (even the 'god' Krishna) has ever been portrayed as the greatest thing mankind would ever see- they were all flawed, all caught up with their own ego hassles and power struggles,every single character comes with their own bag and baggage, and has their own agendas in life....much like normal individuals. and as a viewer/reader, you are allowed to choose who you prefer- the sometimes good people who are on the side of wrong, or the sometimes bad people who are the upholders of the truth. i love how you are allowed to get irritated with yudhishtir when he starts to flaunt too much of 'holier than thou' attitude and how you feel like sympathizing with duryodhana when he dies all alone in the battlefield. i love how despite karna being on the 'bad' side and him doing some very ungentlemanly like things (like joining duryodhan and gang in insulting draupadi) you cant help but feel just so bad for the guy. i couldnt agree more with shekhar kapur when he describes karna as "the most tragic hero in all of literature". i love how each character, male or female, is so neatly etched out (except maybe the two random Nakul and Sahdev...poor guys never really got any presence anywhere!).
there's also a familial component to the obsession with mahabharata i.e. many members of the family (grandmom, parents being top of the list) could write a thesis on the subject. once, my grandmom and i watched 16 episodes back to back in a single day...neither of us even thinking of taking a break and watching something else (the good old days of video cassettes...sigh) we are the kind of people who get irritated if someone or something interrupts us in the middle of an episode...despite having seen each and every single episode at least a million times.
but i have never really met too many people of my generation who are as obsessed about the show or the epic as i am...many conversations are already running through my head...
Friday, January 29, 2010
एक ऐसी जगह बता जहाँ खुदा न हो
my religious/spiritual/etc etc type of views (or some semblance of it) have already been touched upon in this post. it is something i am extremely uncomfortable talking about or even being asked about. i find it a complete invasion of privacy when people ask me questions about my belief in a supreme power...it is something which i don't even discuss with people who i am tremendously close to.
why this sudden blog about my sentiments about this issue then? my recent trip to shirdi is the reason for this blog. to be completely honest, i didn't go to shirdi for the sake of going to 'shirdi' per say- i am no sai baba devotee, despite some of my closest relatives being ardent worshippers. i went coz i love travelling, i love seeing new places (yes even religious ones!), i love interacting with people on a journey- i have noticed (in all my travels!) that we are much more relaxed when on a trip, thus tend to be much more interesting to talk to ;)
so thats how i joined a group of six women- aunties, as one of them proclaimed (older girls i say)- on a four day trip to shirdi. it was a super fantastic trip- feminists might even call it liberating, since there was no male accompanying us. there was lots of talking, lots of information being shared, new things being learned about people, certain memories revived, and many more formed. it is extremely difficult for me to put into words the moments of the train journey, the peculiarities of the group members which everyone eventually adjusted to, and grew to love, the insane giggling which one would usually associate with teenage girls, the endless cups of chai, the sometimes superficial-sometimes heavy duty serious conversations....it was as awesome as a trip could and should be.
the experience of visiting shirdi was an eye opener in many ways- for starters, i went as a non believer...and while i wouldnt call myself a convert (although some people assume i am one since i visited shirdi), i have perhaps softened to the idea of sai baba.
but apart from this, there is a certain observation which I made. during the whole trip, there was a lot of talk of 'miracles'- instances of how someone was in trouble and baba saved them, how someone was in a mess and baba had showed the way...and many other events. the cynic and the atheist might dismiss them, the believer swears by them. as they say ना मानो तो पत्थर, मानो तो भगवान्! if you listen to the stories, you will be absolutely spellbound, by not just the content, but also of the deep faith that is reflected in each word of the narrator- its a strangely interesting sight!
as i see it, miracles happen to us, around us, every day. if we just stop and notice the little things around us, we would see that we're literally surrounded by miracles. things like classes being cancelled at the last minute, impromptu meetings with friends, relatives visiting, your favourite song coming on radio, coming home sans insane traffic jams- if you pay close attention, i guess these would come under the 'miracle' category. but we usually don't pay close attention. for us in our normal day life, we are too hardened and cynical to really notice anything, to really feel anything simple as something great. but when one is in a religious place, people generally seem to have a sense of heightened awareness and a strange sense of positivity- and anything remotely positive happening becomes a 'miracle'. i have generally seen that people are usually in a perennially good mood in religious places (the exceptional tiff with the security guards and pushing/shoving notwithstanding). perhaps its the vibe of the place, perhaps a sense of bhakti...i don't know. it is very utopian of me to perhaps wish that people everywhere carry that sense of peace and joy to their normal lives. to me, that would be a shining exemplar of belief, and faith.
{this post hasnt really followed a pattern...i guess it is because i feel extremely fragmented in terms of my sentiments about the various aspects of the trip- the different emotions and experiences havent really merged together into one post. oh well...such is life :) }
why this sudden blog about my sentiments about this issue then? my recent trip to shirdi is the reason for this blog. to be completely honest, i didn't go to shirdi for the sake of going to 'shirdi' per say- i am no sai baba devotee, despite some of my closest relatives being ardent worshippers. i went coz i love travelling, i love seeing new places (yes even religious ones!), i love interacting with people on a journey- i have noticed (in all my travels!) that we are much more relaxed when on a trip, thus tend to be much more interesting to talk to ;)
so thats how i joined a group of six women- aunties, as one of them proclaimed (older girls i say)- on a four day trip to shirdi. it was a super fantastic trip- feminists might even call it liberating, since there was no male accompanying us. there was lots of talking, lots of information being shared, new things being learned about people, certain memories revived, and many more formed. it is extremely difficult for me to put into words the moments of the train journey, the peculiarities of the group members which everyone eventually adjusted to, and grew to love, the insane giggling which one would usually associate with teenage girls, the endless cups of chai, the sometimes superficial-sometimes heavy duty serious conversations....it was as awesome as a trip could and should be.
the experience of visiting shirdi was an eye opener in many ways- for starters, i went as a non believer...and while i wouldnt call myself a convert (although some people assume i am one since i visited shirdi), i have perhaps softened to the idea of sai baba.
but apart from this, there is a certain observation which I made. during the whole trip, there was a lot of talk of 'miracles'- instances of how someone was in trouble and baba saved them, how someone was in a mess and baba had showed the way...and many other events. the cynic and the atheist might dismiss them, the believer swears by them. as they say ना मानो तो पत्थर, मानो तो भगवान्! if you listen to the stories, you will be absolutely spellbound, by not just the content, but also of the deep faith that is reflected in each word of the narrator- its a strangely interesting sight!
as i see it, miracles happen to us, around us, every day. if we just stop and notice the little things around us, we would see that we're literally surrounded by miracles. things like classes being cancelled at the last minute, impromptu meetings with friends, relatives visiting, your favourite song coming on radio, coming home sans insane traffic jams- if you pay close attention, i guess these would come under the 'miracle' category. but we usually don't pay close attention. for us in our normal day life, we are too hardened and cynical to really notice anything, to really feel anything simple as something great. but when one is in a religious place, people generally seem to have a sense of heightened awareness and a strange sense of positivity- and anything remotely positive happening becomes a 'miracle'. i have generally seen that people are usually in a perennially good mood in religious places (the exceptional tiff with the security guards and pushing/shoving notwithstanding). perhaps its the vibe of the place, perhaps a sense of bhakti...i don't know. it is very utopian of me to perhaps wish that people everywhere carry that sense of peace and joy to their normal lives. to me, that would be a shining exemplar of belief, and faith.
{this post hasnt really followed a pattern...i guess it is because i feel extremely fragmented in terms of my sentiments about the various aspects of the trip- the different emotions and experiences havent really merged together into one post. oh well...such is life :) }
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Where are you from?
Four simple words.
Many people give a simple one word answer to this question. "Orissa", "Assam", "U.P."...and the list could go on and on. I, on the other hand, have extremely mixed and confused feelings about this question; regardless of how much I try to simplify the reply, there really is no straight answer to this question.
If I absolutely have to answer quickly in short, I say "I am from Tamil Nadu." That leads to three possible responses- 1) when the questioner just acknowledges it and remains silent after that (an extremely rare phenomena), 2) the questioner acknowledges it and proceeds to ask me further uncomfortable/unanswerable questions like "oh which part are you from?" OR 3) "Really? you don't look it!"
I love category 1)- they make life simple. To category 3)- On a good day, I usually smile and laugh at their stereotype. On days when I am feeling particularly aggressive, I launch into a bhashan about cultural stereotypes. But usually, it's category 2) who make life a little complicated with their persistent questioning.
Generally, I have a rehearsed answer- "Im a Tamilian, but never lived in Tamil Nadu; mostly been brought up in Delhi." But even that's not the whole truth. Because although my parents were born and brought up here and even I was born here, I didn't really grow up here, in the traditional sense. So when someone asks further and starts questioning "Oh which school?", I say "Oh my parents are in the foreign service so I sort of studied all over. But I did my 11th and 12th from Sanskriti." I add the last part, hoping that they would stop the tirade of questions...but I often underestimate the inquisitiveness which is so characteristic of us human beings(!) So then comes the next question "ohhh, where did you grow up?" (yeah, some people are pretty persistent) I proceed to launch into a mini autobiography (more like a mini-geography). Some people, overawed by the mention of so many countries, even go further and ask "How come you don't have an accent then?" or "How come you know Hindi so well?" I even got a "You don't look like you've spent part of your life abroad- you're not classy enough." The last one particularly cracks me up :)
On certain confusing, weird days, I feel like I am from nowhere in particular.
I am a Tamilian, but know nothing about Tamil Nadu, have never lived there, my parents have never lived there, and I have just a smattering of relatives there. I most certainly don't fit into the "Tamil girl" stereotype (at least I don't feel like one). I once got a "You're not dark, you don't wear glasses- you don't look South Indian." UGH.
I am a Delhiite from heart and soul; its the only city I know, its the city I was born in, the city I went to school and college in. But I guess I won't fit into the 'typical' definition of a Delhi girl- I have only spent 11 years in this city (and even thats not 11 years at a stretch).
I have been brought up abroad, but no visible part of me really supports that- i don't have an accent, i am apparently not classy enough.
Major identity crisis in the offing? Not really. The confusion, the complexity becomes me on most days...it's an integral part of who i am. "Where are you from?" is just one of those questions (like this) for which I dont have a one word answer...
What a way to start the new year!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
feeling blue
a certified sentimental fool- thats what i was, am and perhaps shall always will be. guilty as charged.
my phone broke last sunday. actually the cover broke last thursday after i dropped it for the millionth time. but it was working fine. last sunday, after i got up from my afternoon nap, i saw that the screen had become...well...strange. the lcd had broken, i deduced...thus making my phone officially unusable. the repair guy said that it would take 2500 bucks to repair it...and even he said its not worth it "aap naya hi le lo" he told my dad. and off i went, with my parents, to buy a new phone. "it HAS to be nokia" i insisted (im not really a brand conscious person; but nokia works fabulously for people like me, who drop things by just looking at them). so we settled on this new phone, nokia 2700. i don't really dig hi-fi phones, they're somehow not me...dont go well with my 'non-classy' personality ;) this new phone is pretty looking, the front is black, the back is an extremely classy brownish colour (in the words of one of my classmates "it's like a pretty nailpolish!") the features are more or less like my old phone, so no big life altering changes need to be made.
but the deal is; i haven't really bonded with it.
the history of my cell phones is strange, to say the least. i got my first cell phone, a nokia 1100 (it used to be called the truck driver phone) a couple of days before i started undergrad. while i did crib occasionally about how it didnt have radio, it really was an adorable handset and i absolutely loved it. it had a super cool torch light (which really was amazingly bright), it had snake (the old versions were so much better than these new 3-d graphic ones *sigh*) and it was mine. it lasted for two whole years...before my mom decided to exchange phones with me, and i became the proud owner of a camera phone/radio inclusive nokia (im bad with the model numbers). that was a nice phone too...the camera was really crappy, but the message memory was great. i had taken some super cool pics on that...but since it was a pre-bluetooth era phone, they remain on that phone till date. 2 years later the keypad stopped working properly, and after debating whether to buy a new phone, my dad gave me his nokia (bad with model numbers remember?) which is the phone which broke last week.
it was a phone i really loved; it had awesome pictures, it had funny recordings from hostel, my cousin singing a strange song, my mom's wake up call. it is a phone i had cried on, laughed on, spoken for hours on, smsed frantically on. its a phone which i dropped a million times and still found in perfect shape. it was a phone which i could operate in my sleep; my fingers and the keypad were synchronized so incredibly beautifully- it was a magical bond.
and now that phone is gone.
this new phone...is nice. to give it credit, its not giving me any kind of trouble. but its not mine yet. all the previous phones, they became mine from day one. this one isnt really a part of my world yet...i keep forgetting that it exists and keep searching for my old handset when i need to send a message or make a call.
melodramatic? check. insane of the highest order? check. super duper senti fool? check again. yes i am one of those types who could make a soap opera out of the mundane events of everyday life. but i miss the comfort of my old phone. and thats that.
my phone broke last sunday. actually the cover broke last thursday after i dropped it for the millionth time. but it was working fine. last sunday, after i got up from my afternoon nap, i saw that the screen had become...well...strange. the lcd had broken, i deduced...thus making my phone officially unusable. the repair guy said that it would take 2500 bucks to repair it...and even he said its not worth it "aap naya hi le lo" he told my dad. and off i went, with my parents, to buy a new phone. "it HAS to be nokia" i insisted (im not really a brand conscious person; but nokia works fabulously for people like me, who drop things by just looking at them). so we settled on this new phone, nokia 2700. i don't really dig hi-fi phones, they're somehow not me...dont go well with my 'non-classy' personality ;) this new phone is pretty looking, the front is black, the back is an extremely classy brownish colour (in the words of one of my classmates "it's like a pretty nailpolish!") the features are more or less like my old phone, so no big life altering changes need to be made.
but the deal is; i haven't really bonded with it.
the history of my cell phones is strange, to say the least. i got my first cell phone, a nokia 1100 (it used to be called the truck driver phone) a couple of days before i started undergrad. while i did crib occasionally about how it didnt have radio, it really was an adorable handset and i absolutely loved it. it had a super cool torch light (which really was amazingly bright), it had snake (the old versions were so much better than these new 3-d graphic ones *sigh*) and it was mine. it lasted for two whole years...before my mom decided to exchange phones with me, and i became the proud owner of a camera phone/radio inclusive nokia (im bad with the model numbers). that was a nice phone too...the camera was really crappy, but the message memory was great. i had taken some super cool pics on that...but since it was a pre-bluetooth era phone, they remain on that phone till date. 2 years later the keypad stopped working properly, and after debating whether to buy a new phone, my dad gave me his nokia (bad with model numbers remember?) which is the phone which broke last week.
it was a phone i really loved; it had awesome pictures, it had funny recordings from hostel, my cousin singing a strange song, my mom's wake up call. it is a phone i had cried on, laughed on, spoken for hours on, smsed frantically on. its a phone which i dropped a million times and still found in perfect shape. it was a phone which i could operate in my sleep; my fingers and the keypad were synchronized so incredibly beautifully- it was a magical bond.
and now that phone is gone.
this new phone...is nice. to give it credit, its not giving me any kind of trouble. but its not mine yet. all the previous phones, they became mine from day one. this one isnt really a part of my world yet...i keep forgetting that it exists and keep searching for my old handset when i need to send a message or make a call.
melodramatic? check. insane of the highest order? check. super duper senti fool? check again. yes i am one of those types who could make a soap opera out of the mundane events of everyday life. but i miss the comfort of my old phone. and thats that.
a post dedicated to me!
thanks nima das...the post brightened up my day and made me realize that i have some awesome bonds with some super awesome people in my life :)
http://pranimadas.blogspot.com/2009/11/books-and-people.html
http://pranimadas.blogspot.com/2009/11/books-and-people.html
Monday, November 16, 2009
life's greatest lessons...me-style
I read something similar to this a while ago...and it got me thinking.
People of my generation are getting married, having kids, moving out of the country, getting fancy jobs with fancier job titles, dealing with in-laws...in short becoming adults! Slowly, life is descending upon all of us in a big way.
So here goes...some of my 22 year old life's greatest lessons. Some are mine, some are borrowed. You may not agree with all of it, but trust me, its all been tried tested and experienced first hand ;)
- Make sure the little kids play as many outdoor games as possible; later in life, its the stories about pitthoo, tag, dog in the pond, hide-and-seek, cricket, basketball, football and its like which will make them smile.
- The best things to eat are fattening and unhealthy...except your mom's food. And if you're naturally fat, you will never become reed thin or even less fat unless you give up your favourite things. So don't overeat and say what the hell coz you will feel bad on seeing those balloon like pictures of yourself, but don't give up your favourite things as well; try a middle path.
- Days seem veryyy long; its the years which pass by in a flash.
- Your parents will be unreasonable at times...hell many times. But when you grow up, you figure out the reason behind the unreasonable-ness...or maybe its just that you're on the road to being unreasonable yourself.
- One of the worst things in life is when two close friends are aiming for the same thing and one succeeds and the other doesnt. It's equally tough to deal for both parties. But if a friendship transcends this situation, it's a strong one.
- Stay in a hostel ONCE in your life. It gives you a million lovely warm memories for life. And makes you extremely creative and innovative; like decorating a room with dupattas, using leftovers to create a feast etc etc.
- Lying to your parents is a horrible thing; it can make you feel super guilty and can haunt you for life. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, it has to be done. For the betterment of the world ;)
- Hugging is awesome! It really has curative properties. It can make a good day better, and a bad day tolerable. And it shows that someone cares.
- Family vacations are the best! Location is irrelevant. People will do crazy things, fight for strange reasons, argue over silly things, and laugh over sillier things. Its always a lot of fun!
- Fighting with your younger/older sibling is a part of life; its like breathing. And there are times when you wish you could exchange your sibling for a better, more well mannered one. But there's no one else in this world who understands life in your household like your sibling does, and definitely no one else in this world who understands the quirks and idiosyncrasies of your parents like your sibling does.
- Surprises are great...if planned well ;) And even if they backfire, it's always fun for the stories.
- To all those people who think gossip is uncool and unhealthy; get lost! Gossiping helps build bonds, it helps to understand different people's perspectives, it gives you information- and its a whole lot of FUN.
- Watch a cricket match with a room full of girls who understand NOTHING about the technicality of the game; the emotions they exude, the shrieking, the shouting, the giggles could beat the scientific analysis of any cricket commentator!
- No family is like a sooraj barjatya family; there are weird characters, people who will be mean, people who dont care, and people who are a big bore. But what matters is that in times of extreme joy and extreme sadness if those people come together- if they do, then you've got a winner of a family!
- No matter how old a person gets, they still love it when you wish them on their birthday.
- Watching a good movie, reading a good book, listening to a good song; they make your day...but you don't feel truly happy unless you share them with others.
- Friendship is the most insane and the coolest relationship in the world; simply because there are no conditions. You can be friends with anyone; someone really old, someone really young, someone who's exactly like you, and someone who couldnt be more different. There really is no bar in friendship.
- A successful marriage is not merely an absence of tragedy/abuse/bad things; its the presence of a million other wonderful things.
- Read! doesn't have to be the booker prize winner or charles dickens...things like delhi times/ht city/filmfare/back page of india today/chicklit can also be extremely informative. But just read!
- No matter what a terrible time you think you are having in school and college you will eventually remember it and say "god those were good times!"
- Compliments are nice. Be generous when complimenting others, it makes their day. And be gracious when accepting compliments, it makes the compliment giver feel nice.
- Very often, it is those who you think will be around FOREVER with whom things don't work out. And the people who you become closest to are those who you never in a million years thought you would even have a decent conversation with. It's a phenomena which is impossible to understand but it is a fact of life.
- Never listen to "tu jo nahin hai toh" from woh lamhe when going through a bad day; it makes you feel even more worse and can make you depressive and suicidal. (But i really do love that song)
- You are really lucky if you have a wonderful extended family, full of aunts/uncles/cousins to pamper you; its during times of stress and trouble when you realize what having so many people around can do for your mental state.
-Friends can come in all shapes, sizes and friendship has many degrees. There are those who you have to tell every detail to, those who are awesome to watch a movie with, those who you can be intellectual with, those who you can be silly with, those who you can talk to for hours and still feel like you havent even begun, those who make your day with a single sms or phone call or ping on gtalk, those who you have nothing to say over the phone to but still love to meet up and talk to in person; the deal is, you love and need all of them!
- You can't make every single person in your life happy with every single decision of yours. Its IMPOSSIBLE. Someone will always have complaints.
- The people who have never seen you cry/shout/irritated/depressed/in a bad mood- haven't really seen you. And those who have- they're great coz they love you nevertheless ;)
- Jam sessions are lots of fun! Especially when the people around are fun. But dancing with heels has disastrous consequences.
- There is no ideal work place- either the boss will be bad, the work will be crappy, or the colleagues will be mean , or the office will be too far or the pay will be measly.
- Never get into a relationship with a friend's sibling/cousin. Or a sibling/cousin's friend. Or a friend's friend. Till date, haven't seen it work out happily for all parties involved.
- When something of yours is missing, its possible that you have misplaced it. But never blame anyone; it can spoil relationships, and make you wonder whether you did the right thing.
- It's very often that life's greatest secrets are revealed in the middle of the night; so once in a while, talk to people around that time ;)
- Power cuts/long walks and drives are an awesome time to bond with people.
- Take LOTS of pictures/videos- it may seem silly at that time, but they're wonderful to look at once you leave that moment.
- All families are messed up in some way or the other; some may be too conservative, some may be too lenient, some are too crazy, some are too boring. But they're the people you take for granted, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who are there for you without you asking, and the ones who know you better than you know yourself. In short, you cannot survive and live to tell the tale without them :)
- Send long emails; they make people happy. And maybe you'll recieve long emails in return too.
- Preparing for dances for freshers' and farewell parties are always done at the last minute; regardless of what college you are in. It's a pan-college phenomena.
- Everyone thinks their problems are a big deal and they most often are. Never demean someone else's problems.
- Sometimes its important to say the truth; it can save someone from embarrassment. But its equally important to know when not to say the truth.
- A girl and a guy can be friends, best friends in fact; but it is rare.
- Everyone has a strong positive trait. Everyone has something nice about them. But its not necessary for you to like everyone ;)
- Go to India gate at night; it really is one of the bestest sights in the world.
- Run at the maximum speed you can muster up when its raining heavily; its a LOT of fun! But do make sure you dry off immediately and have a lovely cup of hot tea or coffee.
- There will be times when you're upset randomly, when you feel low and you don't know why. It happens to everyone, and the moment passes just as quickly as it came.
- When you're working on an important report chances are very high that your laptop will crash, the power will go before you have saved, something strange will happen to your internet, etc etc. So save like a maniac and email yourself copies constantly; its better to have an overloaded, overpopulated inbox than not having a single copy.
- Never judge someone by their pedigree. Just because someone is from a lower rung college or a small town does not make them dumb and naive.
- Don't be overtly sympathetic towards people who have gone through a tragedy in their life; it makes them feel worse. Be nice and sensitive, but treat them normally.
- You have to have taken some classes in life; dance/music/karate/whatever...they are horrible to go to, but you always look back fondly. And hey, it teaches you something :)
- The world is a small place. You will run into the same people, or people related to people you know, over and over again. This can be good when the people are those you like; and not so good when the people are those you dont like.
- Maturity and age have no direct relationship.
- Cotton candy is messy, and will make your tongue all pink and your skin all sticky; but its damn fun to eat :)
- Be nice to your friends' friends. You may not always like them. But they're your friends' friends; there must be something worth liking about them.
- School trips are super fun; you end up forging the greatest bonds with people over them. And you see a different side of people than you see otherwise.
- Something i read somewhere, which touched me:
'You never stop caring. Even after a broken friendship or a huge fight, you just can't stop. That’s because you've given a piece of your heart away. It’s never coming back to you. And thats why the worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the centre of your heart, a friend that you'd die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime. But it’s important to remember the ways they touched your life. It makes things easier.'
- Living with people who are not family is a learning experience; it tests your patience, your adjustment skills, your ability to handle different sleeping/eating habits and strange mood swings. You will fight with people over silly things like blankets, a bucket of water, notes, messy rooms, clothes, money- but it's these things which are a true test of character and relationships.
- Try to mean it when you say "i love you". But even if you don't mean it and have to say it to make the other person feel better, say it with as much feeling and emotion that you can muster up; it goes a long way.
- Life is a one way street; you can look back but can't ever turn around. So try to give everything your best shot, there's no point regretting and saying "oh i could have done that" later.
Would love to hear any wisdom anyone else has to share :)
People of my generation are getting married, having kids, moving out of the country, getting fancy jobs with fancier job titles, dealing with in-laws...in short becoming adults! Slowly, life is descending upon all of us in a big way.
So here goes...some of my 22 year old life's greatest lessons. Some are mine, some are borrowed. You may not agree with all of it, but trust me, its all been tried tested and experienced first hand ;)
- Make sure the little kids play as many outdoor games as possible; later in life, its the stories about pitthoo, tag, dog in the pond, hide-and-seek, cricket, basketball, football and its like which will make them smile.
- The best things to eat are fattening and unhealthy...except your mom's food. And if you're naturally fat, you will never become reed thin or even less fat unless you give up your favourite things. So don't overeat and say what the hell coz you will feel bad on seeing those balloon like pictures of yourself, but don't give up your favourite things as well; try a middle path.
- Days seem veryyy long; its the years which pass by in a flash.
- Your parents will be unreasonable at times...hell many times. But when you grow up, you figure out the reason behind the unreasonable-ness...or maybe its just that you're on the road to being unreasonable yourself.
- One of the worst things in life is when two close friends are aiming for the same thing and one succeeds and the other doesnt. It's equally tough to deal for both parties. But if a friendship transcends this situation, it's a strong one.
- Stay in a hostel ONCE in your life. It gives you a million lovely warm memories for life. And makes you extremely creative and innovative; like decorating a room with dupattas, using leftovers to create a feast etc etc.
- Lying to your parents is a horrible thing; it can make you feel super guilty and can haunt you for life. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, it has to be done. For the betterment of the world ;)
- Hugging is awesome! It really has curative properties. It can make a good day better, and a bad day tolerable. And it shows that someone cares.
- Family vacations are the best! Location is irrelevant. People will do crazy things, fight for strange reasons, argue over silly things, and laugh over sillier things. Its always a lot of fun!
- Fighting with your younger/older sibling is a part of life; its like breathing. And there are times when you wish you could exchange your sibling for a better, more well mannered one. But there's no one else in this world who understands life in your household like your sibling does, and definitely no one else in this world who understands the quirks and idiosyncrasies of your parents like your sibling does.
- Surprises are great...if planned well ;) And even if they backfire, it's always fun for the stories.
- To all those people who think gossip is uncool and unhealthy; get lost! Gossiping helps build bonds, it helps to understand different people's perspectives, it gives you information- and its a whole lot of FUN.
- Watch a cricket match with a room full of girls who understand NOTHING about the technicality of the game; the emotions they exude, the shrieking, the shouting, the giggles could beat the scientific analysis of any cricket commentator!
- No family is like a sooraj barjatya family; there are weird characters, people who will be mean, people who dont care, and people who are a big bore. But what matters is that in times of extreme joy and extreme sadness if those people come together- if they do, then you've got a winner of a family!
- No matter how old a person gets, they still love it when you wish them on their birthday.
- Watching a good movie, reading a good book, listening to a good song; they make your day...but you don't feel truly happy unless you share them with others.
- Friendship is the most insane and the coolest relationship in the world; simply because there are no conditions. You can be friends with anyone; someone really old, someone really young, someone who's exactly like you, and someone who couldnt be more different. There really is no bar in friendship.
- A successful marriage is not merely an absence of tragedy/abuse/bad things; its the presence of a million other wonderful things.
- Read! doesn't have to be the booker prize winner or charles dickens...things like delhi times/ht city/filmfare/back page of india today/chicklit can also be extremely informative. But just read!
- No matter what a terrible time you think you are having in school and college you will eventually remember it and say "god those were good times!"
- Compliments are nice. Be generous when complimenting others, it makes their day. And be gracious when accepting compliments, it makes the compliment giver feel nice.
- Very often, it is those who you think will be around FOREVER with whom things don't work out. And the people who you become closest to are those who you never in a million years thought you would even have a decent conversation with. It's a phenomena which is impossible to understand but it is a fact of life.
- Never listen to "tu jo nahin hai toh" from woh lamhe when going through a bad day; it makes you feel even more worse and can make you depressive and suicidal. (But i really do love that song)
- You are really lucky if you have a wonderful extended family, full of aunts/uncles/cousins to pamper you; its during times of stress and trouble when you realize what having so many people around can do for your mental state.
-Friends can come in all shapes, sizes and friendship has many degrees. There are those who you have to tell every detail to, those who are awesome to watch a movie with, those who you can be intellectual with, those who you can be silly with, those who you can talk to for hours and still feel like you havent even begun, those who make your day with a single sms or phone call or ping on gtalk, those who you have nothing to say over the phone to but still love to meet up and talk to in person; the deal is, you love and need all of them!
- You can't make every single person in your life happy with every single decision of yours. Its IMPOSSIBLE. Someone will always have complaints.
- The people who have never seen you cry/shout/irritated/depres
- Jam sessions are lots of fun! Especially when the people around are fun. But dancing with heels has disastrous consequences.
- There is no ideal work place- either the boss will be bad, the work will be crappy, or the colleagues will be mean , or the office will be too far or the pay will be measly.
- Never get into a relationship with a friend's sibling/cousin. Or a sibling/cousin's friend. Or a friend's friend. Till date, haven't seen it work out happily for all parties involved.
- When something of yours is missing, its possible that you have misplaced it. But never blame anyone; it can spoil relationships, and make you wonder whether you did the right thing.
- It's very often that life's greatest secrets are revealed in the middle of the night; so once in a while, talk to people around that time ;)
- Power cuts/long walks and drives are an awesome time to bond with people.
- Take LOTS of pictures/videos- it may seem silly at that time, but they're wonderful to look at once you leave that moment.
- All families are messed up in some way or the other; some may be too conservative, some may be too lenient, some are too crazy, some are too boring. But they're the people you take for granted, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who are there for you without you asking, and the ones who know you better than you know yourself. In short, you cannot survive and live to tell the tale without them :)
- Send long emails; they make people happy. And maybe you'll recieve long emails in return too.
- Preparing for dances for freshers' and farewell parties are always done at the last minute; regardless of what college you are in. It's a pan-college phenomena.
- Everyone thinks their problems are a big deal and they most often are. Never demean someone else's problems.
- Sometimes its important to say the truth; it can save someone from embarrassment. But its equally important to know when not to say the truth.
- A girl and a guy can be friends, best friends in fact; but it is rare.
- Everyone has a strong positive trait. Everyone has something nice about them. But its not necessary for you to like everyone ;)
- Go to India gate at night; it really is one of the bestest sights in the world.
- Run at the maximum speed you can muster up when its raining heavily; its a LOT of fun! But do make sure you dry off immediately and have a lovely cup of hot tea or coffee.
- There will be times when you're upset randomly, when you feel low and you don't know why. It happens to everyone, and the moment passes just as quickly as it came.
- When you're working on an important report chances are very high that your laptop will crash, the power will go before you have saved, something strange will happen to your internet, etc etc. So save like a maniac and email yourself copies constantly; its better to have an overloaded, overpopulated inbox than not having a single copy.
- Never judge someone by their pedigree. Just because someone is from a lower rung college or a small town does not make them dumb and naive.
- Don't be overtly sympathetic towards people who have gone through a tragedy in their life; it makes them feel worse. Be nice and sensitive, but treat them normally.
- You have to have taken some classes in life; dance/music/karate/whateve
- The world is a small place. You will run into the same people, or people related to people you know, over and over again. This can be good when the people are those you like; and not so good when the people are those you dont like.
- Maturity and age have no direct relationship.
- Cotton candy is messy, and will make your tongue all pink and your skin all sticky; but its damn fun to eat :)
- Be nice to your friends' friends. You may not always like them. But they're your friends' friends; there must be something worth liking about them.
- School trips are super fun; you end up forging the greatest bonds with people over them. And you see a different side of people than you see otherwise.
- Something i read somewhere, which touched me:
'You never stop caring. Even after a broken friendship or a huge fight, you just can't stop. That’s because you've given a piece of your heart away. It’s never coming back to you. And thats why the worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the centre of your heart, a friend that you'd die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime. But it’s important to remember the ways they touched your life. It makes things easier.'
- Living with people who are not family is a learning experience; it tests your patience, your adjustment skills, your ability to handle different sleeping/eating habits and strange mood swings. You will fight with people over silly things like blankets, a bucket of water, notes, messy rooms, clothes, money- but it's these things which are a true test of character and relationships.
- Try to mean it when you say "i love you". But even if you don't mean it and have to say it to make the other person feel better, say it with as much feeling and emotion that you can muster up; it goes a long way.
- Life is a one way street; you can look back but can't ever turn around. So try to give everything your best shot, there's no point regretting and saying "oh i could have done that" later.
Would love to hear any wisdom anyone else has to share :)
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