Wednesday, April 29, 2009

being a 'kanya'

i went to someone's place today, to be a part of some ceremony where they needed married women and one 'kanya'...which i qualified for. the purpose of that was to wish everyone a happy married life...or something to that effect. it wasnt a big ceremony, basically they washed our feet and served us nice food and then gave us a small token and said tata. apparently, they couldnt find an unmarried girl for a long time and i came as godsent. so all the aunties thanked me profusely, much to my embarrassment.
i couldnt figure out why i had gone there, or why it was all happening. and i found it particularly interesting to note one of the aunties who was the resident 'principal' as everyone was calling her- she was guiding people what to do, how to do, what not to do, which side to stand, who is to do what, etc etc.

the thing about these ceremonies is, we dont know their significance half the time. we dont know why we're supposed to be doing this or that. me and dad were discussing today that many ceremonies/rituals were made for a specific reason, most of which is obsolete today. like we have this ritual in tamil brahmin marriages where after the 'marriage' part, the bride and groom play with coconuts and break 'papads' and things...it was made for child marriages to engage the children, but now of course, 25/30 yr olds play those games. similarly there is this one ritual where the bride and groom sit on a 'jhoola' for some time.
my dad was telling me today why there is a difference in the death rituals of hindus and muslims...i mean one of the reasons why. islam was founded in the arab world, where its all desert and sand, and no wood...so they buried their people. while india had lots of trees and thus lots of wood and thats why they burnt the dead. interesting explanation no?!

i attended a wedding once, where the pandit actually explained the significance of every single ritual and small thing...it was so fascinating...and made the whole ceremony so meaningful. but people like that pandit are far and few; most people dont know the significance of the things they make people do, and if they do, they lack the time/patience/skill/intention to spread the knowledge.

its kind of sad if you think about it, i mean we're part of such a rich culture, full of rituals and ceremonies which have deep significance and tremendous meaning. which were made for a reason. and we dont know most of it. we follow them blindly, without realizing their deeper significance and why we're following them.

guess thats that.

Monday, April 27, 2009

an ode to SC- my life, and home, for the past two years


sometime in may 2007

mom- "i have a feeling you'll get through south campus"
me- "huh??? WHY?"
mom- "i just do."
me- "why cant you have a feeling that ill get through north?"
mom- "its just a feeling."

july 2007
: I joined south campus for my M.A. in applied psychology, after not having made it anywhere else, after having waited for 2 hellish weeks. two years later, im all set to leave it.

what will i take with me when i leave this place? many many many memories. memories of random classes with one-of-a-kind professors. personality classes where Prof J would go off on a tangent most of the time, and forget what he was teaching. social classes, where SSV would go on and on and on and on about beliefs and positive psychology and laugh like...well, SSV! you cannot describe her laughter. classes with cherry blossom (that was the name bhavishya had given him in first year!) which absolutely made no sense and which would result in a million arguements. classes with gcg, mm, sen sir, arvind sir....they all had their quirky memories. ill take back memories of the north-south drama of last year, of a million letters written, and of the various meetings. ill take back memories of freshers and farewells, of preparing dances at the last moment, of organizing the food and the funds and the decorations. of bhavishya's jokes and animated way of narrating things. of swati's hyper behaviour. of sally's laughter and singing. creyzee's...creyzeeness(!). of other classmates' distinctive behaviour. of awesome seniors, and distant juniors. of sinead's rebt sessions and ssv's awe after that. ill take back memories of birthdays, and random gossip sessions.

south campus wasnt just my college, or the place where i studied. i lived here for two years...geetanjali hostel was 'home'. convincing auto-wallas to go drop us inside the campus used to be such a task- no one wanted to come inside! the random songs we made every single day. the creating 'gossip' out of non-issues, just for entertainment purposes. i could write reams on the hostel. every single day has been eventful- some funny or tragic incident, some idiotic act done or brilliant words spoken. as i leave, many things will be with me forever. like hostel nights. freshers, farewells, lohri parties, christmas parties. special dinners and the lines in the mess, the shortage of chairs on those days. the warden and the provost's funny-ness. the issues in the mess. robert bhaiyya. didu bhaiyya- the insanest guard EVER. aashima di's lectures and the way she narrates stories of the years gone by. the looks of all those people who used to stare at our eccentricity. making mahima read freud and getting sadistic pleasure out of her dumbstruck and horrified expressions. fms cultural evening- unforgettable! UDSC's diwali meet- unforgettable X a million! the canteen food. the photocopy shop. satya- its food, the mother diary shop, the good uncle ji's shop, the cute aunty's shop, the sadu uncle's shop, R's images and the strange uncle there. funny juniors, and highly entertaining seniors. juni. coming to hostel after a long break and being hugged by friends. the four of us- and the antics we were constantly up to. our fights and our discussions, every strange thing (and there were a LOT of those) that happened with/to/because of us- being just us.
my first night in hostel, i had gotten up at 1 in the night and saw sd and isha drag a table out of their room, coz they feared a spider inside it. the seriousness with which isha said it that night, and the way sd looked (her tiny hair oiled and braided) is an image ill never forget.

south campus. the place where i found my joy and my peace of mind again. the place i called home for two years. where i laughed and cried. where i gossiped and bitched. the place which saw many outbursts, of joy and of sadness. the dept which we all loved to hate and hated to love. im not sad to be leaving it- it was a greatttt two years, and now its time to move on. but south campus was... just the besht!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Island Kingdom

Bahrain- The smallest country I have ever been to, with a population of 6 lakhs (of which 3 lakhs are indians) and travelling from one corner to the other takes a maximum of an hour (if there's 'traffic' then an additional 15 mins MAX).

one of my favourite places in the world, the mere mention of which brings a smile to my face. A place I will always associate with good times and lots of happiness. Bahrain was home for the past three and a half years, and now, as the family is moving back to Delhi, I feel strange; im thrilled that they're coming back, because the wait has been long. Im ecstatic at the idea of the four of us together in Delhi again. Im finally going to be 'home' again.

But Bahrain was really special. I loved the 'small-ness' and the 'everybody knows everybody' feeling one got there. You couldnt even go to the hospital without bumping into someone you know (of course it could get pretty intrusive sometimes, but still). I loved the fact that me and my brother were 'celebrity kids'- our parents were pretty well known there, and going from the anonymity of life in Delhi, it was quite fun being important there!
For my 3rd year project, I travelled the length and breadth of Bahrain, interviewing 16 families. It was in many ways, one of the most humbling experiences of my life, coz i relived many moments of their lives with them. Whenever I saw any member of any of these 16 families later on, I was always greeted warmly; that means a LOT of warm greetings :)

there was MUCH that was characteristic of Bahrain- the variety of food (Italian, Mexican, Lebanese, even the Indian...and of course the junk food, the cheese, the chocolates, the fruit juices), the laziness that used to overpower me the minute i landed at the airport, and manifested in forms of endless sleeping and tv watching during my stay, the random outings with my parents to various social events, people giving speeches at ALL occasions (even wedding receptions)...it was all so Bahrain.

I wanted to write this post for quite some time...but now that i have finally come down to it, i realize how difficult it is to write about Bahrain. It's hard to pin down what I loved about the place, and what I will miss. It's strange to get used to the idea that there will be no more trips to Bahrain, that perhaps Ill never be back there again in quite the same way. Goodbyes have never been easy, and this one is tremendously bittersweet.