Thursday, November 26, 2009

feeling blue

a certified sentimental fool- thats what i was, am and perhaps shall always will be. guilty as charged.

my phone broke last sunday. actually the cover broke last thursday after i dropped it for the millionth time. but it was working fine. last sunday, after i got up from my afternoon nap, i saw that the screen had become...well...strange. the lcd had broken, i deduced...thus making my phone officially unusable. the repair guy said that it would take 2500 bucks to repair it...and even he said its not worth it "aap naya hi le lo" he told my dad. and off i went, with my parents, to buy a new phone. "it HAS to be nokia" i insisted (im not really a brand conscious person; but nokia works fabulously for people like me, who drop things by just looking at them). so we settled on this new phone, nokia 2700. i don't really dig hi-fi phones, they're somehow not me...dont go well with my 'non-classy' personality ;) this new phone is pretty looking, the front is black, the back is an extremely classy brownish colour (in the words of one of my classmates "it's like a pretty nailpolish!") the features are more or less like my old phone, so no big life altering changes need to be made.

but the deal is; i haven't really bonded with it.

the history of my cell phones is strange, to say the least. i got my first cell phone, a nokia 1100 (it used to be called the truck driver phone) a couple of days before i started undergrad. while i did crib occasionally about how it didnt have radio, it really was an adorable handset and i absolutely loved it. it had a super cool torch light (which really was amazingly bright), it had snake (the old versions were so much better than these new 3-d graphic ones *sigh*) and it was mine. it lasted for two whole years...before my mom decided to exchange phones with me, and i became the proud owner of a camera phone/radio inclusive nokia (im bad with the model numbers). that was a nice phone too...the camera was really crappy, but the message memory was great. i had taken some super cool pics on that...but since it was a pre-bluetooth era phone, they remain on that phone till date. 2 years later the keypad stopped working properly, and after debating whether to buy a new phone, my dad gave me his nokia (bad with model numbers remember?) which is the phone which broke last week.
it was a phone i really loved; it had awesome pictures, it had funny recordings from hostel, my cousin singing a strange song, my mom's wake up call. it is a phone i had cried on, laughed on, spoken for hours on, smsed frantically on. its a phone which i dropped a million times and still found in perfect shape. it was a phone which i could operate in my sleep; my fingers and the keypad were synchronized so incredibly beautifully- it was a magical bond.

and now that phone is gone.

this new phone...is nice. to give it credit, its not giving me any kind of trouble. but its not mine yet. all the previous phones, they became mine from day one. this one isnt really a part of my world yet...i keep forgetting that it exists and keep searching for my old handset when i need to send a message or make a call.

melodramatic? check. insane of the highest order? check. super duper senti fool? check again. yes i am one of those types who could make a soap opera out of the mundane events of everyday life. but i miss the comfort of my old phone. and thats that.

a post dedicated to me!

thanks nima das...the post brightened up my day and made me realize that i have some awesome bonds with some super awesome people in my life :)

http://pranimadas.blogspot.com/2009/11/books-and-people.html

Monday, November 16, 2009

life's greatest lessons...me-style

I read something similar to this a while ago...and it got me thinking.

People of my generation are getting married, having kids, moving out of the country, getting fancy jobs with fancier job titles, dealing with in-laws...in short becoming adults! Slowly, life is descending upon all of us in a big way.

So here goes...some of my 22 year old life's greatest lessons. Some are mine, some are borrowed. You may not agree with all of it, but trust me, its all been tried tested and experienced first hand ;)

- Make sure the little kids play as many outdoor games as possible; later in life, its the stories about pitthoo, tag, dog in the pond, hide-and-seek, cricket, basketball, football and its like which will make them smile.

- The best things to eat are fattening and unhealthy...except your mom's food. And if you're naturally fat, you will never become reed thin or even less fat unless you give up your favourite things. So don't overeat and say what the hell coz you will feel bad on seeing those balloon like pictures of yourself, but don't give up your favourite things as well; try a middle path.

- Days seem veryyy long; its the years which pass by in a flash.

- Your parents will be unreasonable at times...hell many times. But when you grow up, you figure out the reason behind the unreasonable-ness...or maybe its just that you're on the road to being unreasonable yourself.

- One of the worst things in life is when two close friends are aiming for the same thing and one succeeds and the other doesnt. It's equally tough to deal for both parties. But if a friendship transcends this situation, it's a strong one.

- Stay in a hostel ONCE in your life. It gives you a million lovely warm memories for life. And makes you extremely creative and innovative; like decorating a room with dupattas, using leftovers to create a feast etc etc.

- Lying to your parents is a horrible thing; it can make you feel super guilty and can haunt you for life. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, it has to be done. For the betterment of the world ;)

- Hugging is awesome! It really has curative properties. It can make a good day better, and a bad day tolerable. And it shows that someone cares.

- Family vacations are the best! Location is irrelevant. People will do crazy things, fight for strange reasons, argue over silly things, and laugh over sillier things. Its always a lot of fun!

- Fighting with your younger/older sibling is a part of life; its like breathing. And there are times when you wish you could exchange your sibling for a better, more well mannered one. But there's no one else in this world who understands life in your household like your sibling does, and definitely no one else in this world who understands the quirks and idiosyncrasies of your parents like your sibling does.

- Surprises are great...if planned well ;) And even if they backfire, it's always fun for the stories.

- To all those people who think gossip is uncool and unhealthy; get lost! Gossiping helps build bonds, it helps to understand different people's perspectives, it gives you information- and its a whole lot of FUN.

- Watch a cricket match with a room full of girls who understand NOTHING about the technicality of the game; the emotions they exude, the shrieking, the shouting, the giggles could beat the scientific analysis of any cricket commentator!

- No family is like a sooraj barjatya family; there are weird characters, people who will be mean, people who dont care, and people who are a big bore. But what matters is that in times of extreme joy and extreme sadness if those people come together- if they do, then you've got a winner of a family!

- No matter how old a person gets, they still love it when you wish them on their birthday.

- Watching a good movie, reading a good book, listening to a good song; they make your day...but you don't feel truly happy unless you share them with others.

- Friendship is the most insane and the coolest relationship in the world; simply because there are no conditions. You can be friends with anyone; someone really old, someone really young, someone who's exactly like you, and someone who couldnt be more different. There really is no bar in friendship.

- A successful marriage is not merely an absence of tragedy/abuse/bad things; its the presence of a million other wonderful things.

- Read! doesn't have to be the booker prize winner or charles dickens...things like delhi times/ht city/filmfare/back page of india today/chicklit can also be extremely informative. But just read!

- No matter what a terrible time you think you are having in school and college you will eventually remember it and say "god those were good times!"

- Compliments are nice. Be generous when complimenting others, it makes their day. And be gracious when accepting compliments, it makes the compliment giver feel nice.

- Very often, it is those who you think will be around FOREVER with whom things don't work out. And the people who you become closest to are those who you never in a million years thought you would even have a decent conversation with. It's a phenomena which is impossible to understand but it is a fact of life.

- Never listen to "tu jo nahin hai toh" from woh lamhe when going through a bad day; it makes you feel even more worse and can make you depressive and suicidal. (But i really do love that song)

- You are really lucky if you have a wonderful extended family, full of aunts/uncles/cousins to pamper you; its during times of stress and trouble when you realize what having so many people around can do for your mental state.

-Friends can come in all shapes, sizes and friendship has many degrees. There are those who you have to tell every detail to, those who are awesome to watch a movie with, those who you can be intellectual with, those who you can be silly with, those who you can talk to for hours and still feel like you havent even begun, those who make your day with a single sms or phone call or ping on gtalk, those who you have nothing to say over the phone to but still love to meet up and talk to in person; the deal is, you love and need all of them!

- You can't make every single person in your life happy with every single decision of yours. Its IMPOSSIBLE. Someone will always have complaints.

- The people who have never seen you cry/shout/irritated/depres
sed/in a bad mood- haven't really seen you. And those who have- they're great coz they love you nevertheless ;)

- Jam sessions are lots of fun! Especially when the people around are fun. But dancing with heels has disastrous consequences.

- There is no ideal work place- either the boss will be bad, the work will be crappy, or the colleagues will be mean , or the office will be too far or the pay will be measly.

- Never get into a relationship with a friend's sibling/cousin. Or a sibling/cousin's friend. Or a friend's friend. Till date, haven't seen it work out happily for all parties involved.

- When something of yours is missing, its possible that you have misplaced it. But never blame anyone; it can spoil relationships, and make you wonder whether you did the right thing.

- It's very often that life's greatest secrets are revealed in the middle of the night; so once in a while, talk to people around that time ;)

- Power cuts/long walks and drives are an awesome time to bond with people.

- Take LOTS of pictures/videos- it may seem silly at that time, but they're wonderful to look at once you leave that moment.

- All families are messed up in some way or the other; some may be too conservative, some may be too lenient, some are too crazy, some are too boring. But they're the people you take for granted, the ones who love you unconditionally, the ones who are there for you without you asking, and the ones who know you better than you know yourself. In short, you cannot survive and live to tell the tale without them :)

- Send long emails; they make people happy. And maybe you'll recieve long emails in return too.

- Preparing for dances for freshers' and farewell parties are always done at the last minute; regardless of what college you are in. It's a pan-college phenomena.

- Everyone thinks their problems are a big deal and they most often are. Never demean someone else's problems.

- Sometimes its important to say the truth; it can save someone from embarrassment. But its equally important to know when not to say the truth.

- A girl and a guy can be friends, best friends in fact; but it is rare.

- Everyone has a strong positive trait. Everyone has something nice about them. But its not necessary for you to like everyone ;)

- Go to India gate at night; it really is one of the bestest sights in the world.

- Run at the maximum speed you can muster up when its raining heavily; its a LOT of fun! But do make sure you dry off immediately and have a lovely cup of hot tea or coffee.

- There will be times when you're upset randomly, when you feel low and you don't know why. It happens to everyone, and the moment passes just as quickly as it came.

- When you're working on an important report chances are very high that your laptop will crash, the power will go before you have saved, something strange will happen to your internet, etc etc. So save like a maniac and email yourself copies constantly; its better to have an overloaded, overpopulated inbox than not having a single copy.

- Never judge someone by their pedigree. Just because someone is from a lower rung college or a small town does not make them dumb and naive.

- Don't be overtly sympathetic towards people who have gone through a tragedy in their life; it makes them feel worse. Be nice and sensitive, but treat them normally.

- You have to have taken some classes in life; dance/music/karate/whatever...they are horrible to go to, but you always look back fondly. And hey, it teaches you something :)

- The world is a small place. You will run into the same people, or people related to people you know, over and over again. This can be good when the people are those you like; and not so good when the people are those you dont like.

- Maturity and age have no direct relationship.

- Cotton candy is messy, and will make your tongue all pink and your skin all sticky; but its damn fun to eat :)

- Be nice to your friends' friends. You may not always like them. But they're your friends' friends; there must be something worth liking about them.

- School trips are super fun; you end up forging the greatest bonds with people over them. And you see a different side of people than you see otherwise.

- Something i read somewhere, which touched me:
'You never stop caring. Even after a broken friendship or a huge fight, you just can't stop. That’s because you've given a piece of your heart away. It’s never coming back to you. And thats why the worst thing in life is to lose a friend, a friend that means the world to you, a friend that you put all your trust and faith in, a friend that you believed in from the start, a friend that took the centre of your heart, a friend that you'd die for, a friend that you wanted to cherish for a lifetime. But it’s important to remember the ways they touched your life. It makes things easier.'

- Living with people who are not family is a learning experience; it tests your patience, your adjustment skills, your ability to handle different sleeping/eating habits and strange mood swings. You will fight with people over silly things like blankets, a bucket of water, notes, messy rooms, clothes, money- but it's these things which are a true test of character and relationships.

- Try to mean it when you say "i love you". But even if you don't mean it and have to say it to make the other person feel better, say it with as much feeling and emotion that you can muster up; it goes a long way.

- Life is a one way street; you can look back but can't ever turn around. So try to give everything your best shot, there's no point regretting and saying "oh i could have done that" later.

Would love to hear any wisdom anyone else has to share :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

the "2 states" i love

just finished reading *2 states* chetan bhagat's latest venture. and i enjoyed it totally! it was like watching a nice, stress-free movie...one where you dont have to use your brain, but which doesnt make fun of your intellect either. and i definitely dont remember the last time i actually laughed while reading a book! it's definitely not the finest piece of literature...not even close in fact...however, its a book which made me happy.

but i would think twice before recommending the book to everyone. you see, unless you really truly knowww and love both the communities which are the subject of the book- the over exuberant punjabis, and the simple, yet stern tamilians- you probably wont enjoy it like i did. or anyone who loves both these drastically different kind of human species would.
you would have to understand what paneer and dancing at weddings means to punjabis...just like you would have to understand what rules and carnatic music mean to the tamilians. you have to truly have seen the whole लेन देन culture, just like you have to have attended early morning weddings. you have to understand what getting a good deal (in the context of marriage) means in both the communities. you have to know that a iit trained, software engineer son-in-law based in the US means to the tamil brahmin what the super rich girl with 6 petrol pumps in her family means to the punjabi. taking sides while reading *2 states* would just ruin the fun...you cant say you liked the malhotras more than the swaminathans, or that the swaminathans were cooler than the malhotras...it would just kill the soul of the book.

i am one of those lucky few (yes i consider myself that) to be a part of both these awesome, yet drastically different cultures. i understand the rules of the tamilian as well as the "ki farak penda hai" attitude of the punjabi. i relish the paneer as much as i crave for the rasam. i can dance at punjabi weddings, as well as i can (well try to) make sense of carnatic music. i love bollywood, but i love watching rajnikant movies too. we mix the punjabiness with the tamilianness in my household- at my cousin's wedding recently, amidst all the brahmin rituals, we engaged in heavy duty jhappiyan and pappiyan. we are as loud and exuberant as the punjabis, just like we're as education obsessed and rule conscious as the tamilians. we have rajma chawal and good old thayir sadam (curd rice) in the same meal. we celebrate diwali both tamilian and dilli style...i love how we celebrate rakhi (which isnt celebrated down south) with the same joy that we celebrate pongal (sankranti- a biggg celebration down south) i love how tirupati and vaishno devi are both equally special to us. to the pessimist, we may seem confused....i would say we're cool enough to take the best of both the cultures.

so yay to *2 states*- not only for being an awesome read...but also for making me think about the two states and cultures, which shape me, and which i love oh-so-much :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

मुझे वहां ले चलो...


मुझे
वहां ले चलो
जहाँ हवाएं अपनी सी थी
जहाँ की घास ठंडी सी थी
जहाँ सूरज की रोशनी चुभती थी
जहाँ वृक्षों की छाँव में घुटन न थी
जहाँ इमारतें बाहें फैलाती थी।
जहाँ हर सड़क दिल को छूकर जाती थी।

जहाँ हर फूल मुस्कुराता था.
जहाँ
सब मेरे आपे में था

मुझे वहां ले चलो
जहाँ कोई भी गैर, पराया न था

Friday, September 18, 2009

a new world...a new life

JNU... to me, it was always like the IIT's- something to look upto, a place to be in awe of- but a place i was not allowed to dream about. and here i am...a certified student of JNU, attending classes...and having that campus referred to as mine.

one can be forgiven for thinking of jnu as *just a campus*- its anything but that. its a world of its own- it has its own politics, its own culture, its own lingua franca...its own ways of doing and saying things. there's everything inside there- millions of canteens, multiple photocopy shops, a whole row of book shops, a big library for each dept AND two huge libraries, a big market (with its own mother diary and other shops), lotssss of hostels...and a wholeeee lot of people.
my beloved old south campus- with all its buildings situated in a circular fashion, one canteen, one cute photocopy shop, one library, one girls hostel, and two boys hostels...and an everyone knows everyone sort of atmosphere- seems very village like in comparison.

and its not just the physicality...the culture of jnu is unlike anything i have ever witnessed before. students hold dharnas, and seem to genuinely believe for certain causes...graffitti is everywhere...there are anti-marx posters, anti-hindutva posters, anti-opening of nescafe posters, posters announcing dharnas for various reasons...at times it seems that jnu is anti-everything...
the people are so different...it actually is a mini india...im one of the three delhiites in a class of 21 in my class- its strange to be in a class where people dont know of north/south campus, or dont go to CP often, or shop at sn or janpath...hell im sure some of them dont even know of priyas. they refer to *dilli* as a foreign country...for them, jnu is all the delhi they need to know.
everyone seems to be stupendously intelligent...they know about everything..they talk of things which dont even sound like english...let alone sound familiar. and they're all intelligent in a very nonchalant way...in the beginning, during our free periods when the class would go out for tea, the topics of discussion ranged from Indo-US nuclear deal to Max Mueller's work on India...if you walk around campus, you hear people saying things like "oh he specializes in medieval history" "oh i would love to read your article"...it was all so alien, so strange...

its easy to be overwhelmed by the multiplicity and largeness of everything in jnu. it may sound strange, coming from someone who's studied in delhi for the past 7 years...but this world is starkly different from everything which i called *college* earlier. its been more than a month...but i still feel very much like a participant observer of some DU vs JNU comparative experiment. i feel like im here to take notes, and go back...
i still feel comfortable referring to myself as a DU girl; i spent five years inside that system, living and breathing the good and the bad of it...its become a part of my identity. i wonder if ill ever call myself a JNU girl, without it sounding like a pretense to my own ears...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

hope...and faith

no this post is not about the show on star world (of which i havent seen a single episode).

this post is about my recent trip to one of the most revered pilgrimages of this country- vaishno devi. no it wasnt my first trip, in fact it was my third. but it was perhaps the first time that i have really put thought into the topic of this post.

during the 12 km long steep climb, one of the members of our 9 member entourage asked "so why are we going here?" to that, my dad replied "well you see the story is that the rakshas bhairon was chasing the goddess and..." before he could complete, the questioner said "toh humhe kya? why are we climbing this steep hill?" there was a little bit of silence...and then some explanations were given...like how its all a matter of faith, and belief. and the famous saying: na maane toh pathhar, maano toh bhagwan. my dad said something about how you should sacrifice something (in this case you exert yourself physically) to attain something (in this case darshan) for it to be worthwhile. my mom said something about there being total focus since you're climbing this steep hill and you're giving it your all physically. the questioner was partially convinced...and we all continued to walk.

but the question remained with me- why is it that lakhs of people, from all corners of the country and across all strata of society, undertake an arduous journey, to get darshan of this mata vaishno devi, for a fraction of a minute? (interesting point to note- there is no idol or photo of mata; she is said to have manifested in the form of three stones, "pinds" they call it) there are people who walk barefoot the whole way, those with physical handicaps, people carrying their infant children the whole way, old people (and i mean old like 80 yr olds) walking slowly....just for a fraction of a minute. to the cynic or the atheist, it would seem sheer stupidity. to the believer, its faith.

i wouldnt call myself a very religious person- i dont pray daily or follow (or even know) many rituals...but im not a cynic or an atheist. i believe in a superpower, a power greater than humans, something which controls this universe. i find peace in certain places of worship, i have certain quirks which you may attribute to religion.
the greatest thing, i think, is faith- a kind of immense and unconditional trust, faith in your god, a state of total surrender, which perhaps drives people to walk 12 km up on a steep hill. it is a belief that mata would solve all their problems...or a kind of a thank you to mata for solving all their problems.

the climb up vaishno devi is an interesting experience...my mom, when explaining the why, stated "do you remember your worries while climbing? you are in an almost trance like state...you dont remember your office problems or the problems at home. you are just climbing."

unless you are a hardcore cynic, hell bent on proving that this climb is sheer stupidity, its difficult for you to remain untouched by the experience of this journey. its by no means easy- there are sharp turns, there are really steep stretches, at times it rains heavily, there are ponies/horses/donkeys all the way leaving veryyy less room to climb at times, its very cold and c-r-o-w-d-e-d at the top, and you may have to wait for hours to get a darshan (not to forget the body aches and pulled muscles you endure)...but the fun of the climb, the sights of all kinds of people walking up the mountains and the sheer ignorance to the physical pain, and the feeling one has during and after the journey, is absolutely indescribable.

much like life itself.

they say faith can move mountains. maybe. to me, the greatest thing is that it moves people.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

*Magical Sunset*

The sky started to turn darker, as if it was cloaking itself to keep prying eyes from looking. The many hues of the clouds blended together in compromise, not fighting anymore for space in the sky. A gentle breeze came in, unsure of its surroundings at first, but slowly ruffling the leaves. The magnificent and radiant sun, which had warmed everything during the day, bowed out gracefully and allowed the moon to replace it for the night. The curtains slid through, telling us that today's show was over; it was sunset. But it would happen again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after...

(written during English Elective exam, 1st term, 11th grade- who knew one could write sense during exams???)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

being a 'kanya'

i went to someone's place today, to be a part of some ceremony where they needed married women and one 'kanya'...which i qualified for. the purpose of that was to wish everyone a happy married life...or something to that effect. it wasnt a big ceremony, basically they washed our feet and served us nice food and then gave us a small token and said tata. apparently, they couldnt find an unmarried girl for a long time and i came as godsent. so all the aunties thanked me profusely, much to my embarrassment.
i couldnt figure out why i had gone there, or why it was all happening. and i found it particularly interesting to note one of the aunties who was the resident 'principal' as everyone was calling her- she was guiding people what to do, how to do, what not to do, which side to stand, who is to do what, etc etc.

the thing about these ceremonies is, we dont know their significance half the time. we dont know why we're supposed to be doing this or that. me and dad were discussing today that many ceremonies/rituals were made for a specific reason, most of which is obsolete today. like we have this ritual in tamil brahmin marriages where after the 'marriage' part, the bride and groom play with coconuts and break 'papads' and things...it was made for child marriages to engage the children, but now of course, 25/30 yr olds play those games. similarly there is this one ritual where the bride and groom sit on a 'jhoola' for some time.
my dad was telling me today why there is a difference in the death rituals of hindus and muslims...i mean one of the reasons why. islam was founded in the arab world, where its all desert and sand, and no wood...so they buried their people. while india had lots of trees and thus lots of wood and thats why they burnt the dead. interesting explanation no?!

i attended a wedding once, where the pandit actually explained the significance of every single ritual and small thing...it was so fascinating...and made the whole ceremony so meaningful. but people like that pandit are far and few; most people dont know the significance of the things they make people do, and if they do, they lack the time/patience/skill/intention to spread the knowledge.

its kind of sad if you think about it, i mean we're part of such a rich culture, full of rituals and ceremonies which have deep significance and tremendous meaning. which were made for a reason. and we dont know most of it. we follow them blindly, without realizing their deeper significance and why we're following them.

guess thats that.

Monday, April 27, 2009

an ode to SC- my life, and home, for the past two years


sometime in may 2007

mom- "i have a feeling you'll get through south campus"
me- "huh??? WHY?"
mom- "i just do."
me- "why cant you have a feeling that ill get through north?"
mom- "its just a feeling."

july 2007
: I joined south campus for my M.A. in applied psychology, after not having made it anywhere else, after having waited for 2 hellish weeks. two years later, im all set to leave it.

what will i take with me when i leave this place? many many many memories. memories of random classes with one-of-a-kind professors. personality classes where Prof J would go off on a tangent most of the time, and forget what he was teaching. social classes, where SSV would go on and on and on and on about beliefs and positive psychology and laugh like...well, SSV! you cannot describe her laughter. classes with cherry blossom (that was the name bhavishya had given him in first year!) which absolutely made no sense and which would result in a million arguements. classes with gcg, mm, sen sir, arvind sir....they all had their quirky memories. ill take back memories of the north-south drama of last year, of a million letters written, and of the various meetings. ill take back memories of freshers and farewells, of preparing dances at the last moment, of organizing the food and the funds and the decorations. of bhavishya's jokes and animated way of narrating things. of swati's hyper behaviour. of sally's laughter and singing. creyzee's...creyzeeness(!). of other classmates' distinctive behaviour. of awesome seniors, and distant juniors. of sinead's rebt sessions and ssv's awe after that. ill take back memories of birthdays, and random gossip sessions.

south campus wasnt just my college, or the place where i studied. i lived here for two years...geetanjali hostel was 'home'. convincing auto-wallas to go drop us inside the campus used to be such a task- no one wanted to come inside! the random songs we made every single day. the creating 'gossip' out of non-issues, just for entertainment purposes. i could write reams on the hostel. every single day has been eventful- some funny or tragic incident, some idiotic act done or brilliant words spoken. as i leave, many things will be with me forever. like hostel nights. freshers, farewells, lohri parties, christmas parties. special dinners and the lines in the mess, the shortage of chairs on those days. the warden and the provost's funny-ness. the issues in the mess. robert bhaiyya. didu bhaiyya- the insanest guard EVER. aashima di's lectures and the way she narrates stories of the years gone by. the looks of all those people who used to stare at our eccentricity. making mahima read freud and getting sadistic pleasure out of her dumbstruck and horrified expressions. fms cultural evening- unforgettable! UDSC's diwali meet- unforgettable X a million! the canteen food. the photocopy shop. satya- its food, the mother diary shop, the good uncle ji's shop, the cute aunty's shop, the sadu uncle's shop, R's images and the strange uncle there. funny juniors, and highly entertaining seniors. juni. coming to hostel after a long break and being hugged by friends. the four of us- and the antics we were constantly up to. our fights and our discussions, every strange thing (and there were a LOT of those) that happened with/to/because of us- being just us.
my first night in hostel, i had gotten up at 1 in the night and saw sd and isha drag a table out of their room, coz they feared a spider inside it. the seriousness with which isha said it that night, and the way sd looked (her tiny hair oiled and braided) is an image ill never forget.

south campus. the place where i found my joy and my peace of mind again. the place i called home for two years. where i laughed and cried. where i gossiped and bitched. the place which saw many outbursts, of joy and of sadness. the dept which we all loved to hate and hated to love. im not sad to be leaving it- it was a greatttt two years, and now its time to move on. but south campus was... just the besht!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Island Kingdom

Bahrain- The smallest country I have ever been to, with a population of 6 lakhs (of which 3 lakhs are indians) and travelling from one corner to the other takes a maximum of an hour (if there's 'traffic' then an additional 15 mins MAX).

one of my favourite places in the world, the mere mention of which brings a smile to my face. A place I will always associate with good times and lots of happiness. Bahrain was home for the past three and a half years, and now, as the family is moving back to Delhi, I feel strange; im thrilled that they're coming back, because the wait has been long. Im ecstatic at the idea of the four of us together in Delhi again. Im finally going to be 'home' again.

But Bahrain was really special. I loved the 'small-ness' and the 'everybody knows everybody' feeling one got there. You couldnt even go to the hospital without bumping into someone you know (of course it could get pretty intrusive sometimes, but still). I loved the fact that me and my brother were 'celebrity kids'- our parents were pretty well known there, and going from the anonymity of life in Delhi, it was quite fun being important there!
For my 3rd year project, I travelled the length and breadth of Bahrain, interviewing 16 families. It was in many ways, one of the most humbling experiences of my life, coz i relived many moments of their lives with them. Whenever I saw any member of any of these 16 families later on, I was always greeted warmly; that means a LOT of warm greetings :)

there was MUCH that was characteristic of Bahrain- the variety of food (Italian, Mexican, Lebanese, even the Indian...and of course the junk food, the cheese, the chocolates, the fruit juices), the laziness that used to overpower me the minute i landed at the airport, and manifested in forms of endless sleeping and tv watching during my stay, the random outings with my parents to various social events, people giving speeches at ALL occasions (even wedding receptions)...it was all so Bahrain.

I wanted to write this post for quite some time...but now that i have finally come down to it, i realize how difficult it is to write about Bahrain. It's hard to pin down what I loved about the place, and what I will miss. It's strange to get used to the idea that there will be no more trips to Bahrain, that perhaps Ill never be back there again in quite the same way. Goodbyes have never been easy, and this one is tremendously bittersweet.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

of a trip to, and from, north campus

while coming back from north campus today, i was sitting in the metro and observing people around me (something which i often do when i have no music or reading material or when neither interests me very much) there was a young woman who got on around 5 minutes after i did, with her little baby daughter. the woman couldnt have been more than 25. she sat down with her daughter and tried to make her comfortable, and i got busy staring into space again. around 10 minutes later, a big group of school students got on, and stood right next to me. they were chit chatting at a very loud pitch about their just concluded board exam and found many reasons to giggle and make fun of each other. i found it quite amusing and as i looked away from them, i caught the young mother looking at them, with a strange expression- a mixture of sadness, envy, wishfulness. i observed her for quite some time, and she smiled so many times during that ride, whilst observing these young school girls. i really wondered what was going on in her mind- did she want to be like that again, carefree and worrying not about her house or her baby, but just about her upcoming exam? did she remember her school days, of times when she wore her uniform shirt, and had disheveled hair, and laughed with her friends about silly things? its rare for me to feel like that for a stranger woman in a span of a few minutes, but for some unknown reason, i truly felt for that girl. strange.

on another note, it was amazing to go back to college today. going back to college reaffirms my faith in DU, in hope for the system. the profs havent changed a bit in their affection, they came running out of class to meet us, to ask us how we were and to offer words of encouragement, as always. there's a lot of weird memories associated with college, things i would much rather forget...but i am glad that some things never change.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

which language do you think in?

my answer: i dont know.

when people ask me how many languages i know; i say "three; tamil, hindi and english".
tamil is my mother tongue, my native language. i speak tamil with my parents and my brother, my grandmother and some other relatives. but from tamil nadu standards, my tamil is, to put mildly, RUBBISH. my vocabulary is severely limited, my tamil is accented (now what accent it is, no one knows), and i dont understand typical tamil words. in fact, i never ever understand tamil songs in the first go...its almost like im listening to english songs. i cant write tamil and my tamil reading skills are a notch above those of an illiterate.

my hindi on the other hand, is quite decent, for someone who's only studied hindi till the 4th. in fact, my hindi's better than many of those, who have stayed in india all their lives. i give the credit to my love for hindi movies. my hindi's not accented (at least thats what people tell me). but my hindi reading speed is slowwww...and lets not even get started about my hindi writing.

english is perhaps the language i am best at. i can speak it well (the blabbering, fumbling and sheer incoherence can be attributed to nervousness, social phobia and anxiety), i write it well (ya ok im immodest; but it IS a talent i have), and i understand it well too!

{oh and i know a tad bit of french too. i learnt it for 5 yrs. i spoke passable french for a year. now, my knowledge of francais is limited to words i read on the back of bottles and packages}.

so i know all these languages. yeah. but i dont know what language i think in. the minute i start to think about what language i think in, i get conscious and i stop thinking about what i was thinking in the first place, and start thinking about what language i think in.

its definitely not tamil. unless im thinking about a conversation with my parents or brother. its definitely a lot of english, because its a language i feel comfortable with. it could be hindi too...but not so much. maybe 75% english and 25% hindi. or maybe 80% english, 15% hindi and 5% tamil.

i should seriously figure out which language i think in. im getting restless now.

Monday, February 23, 2009

M-u-s-i-c...and me :)

it's not like i dont like english music. over the years, putting in much effort, i have grown to like many english songs. i like the occasional "hotel california". i can develop a taste for "carnival of rust". i can fall in love with a "what if". i can be inspired by "i hope you dance". i can groove with the beats of "superstar" (after a million hearings, courtesy my roommate). i can be mesmerized by "when you say nothing at all". i can like the occasional jack johnson, and goo goo dolls (thanx to the twin's influence).

but at heart, i am so totally, unconditionally "bollywood".

i relate so much better to bollywood music. with bollywood, i dont need lyrics or multiple hearings to make sense of the song at one go. its more 'me'. i need the item numbers to pep me up when on a walk or during a journey. i need the old songs of kishore and rafi when im in a melancholic/contemplative mood. i feel like listening to lata's "satyam shivam sundaram","yeh galiyaan", "ek raadha ek meera", "aapki nazaron ne samjha" or any other old song of hers, when i feel like listening to pure unadulterated music. on one of the worst days of my life, i listened to "tu jo nahin" from woh lamhe, continuously for hours altogether. i turn to bollywood when im in a bad mood, when im in a good mood, when im blank, when im working, when im euphoric, and when im tragedy struck.

with movies its still different. i love movies in all the languages which i understand (although i am still tilted or rather leaning, towards bollywood). but with music, all my loyalties are always towards bollywood. always.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

MRIDANG 09

what. an. experience.

it had everything: fun, tension, conflicts, fashion, arguments, difference of opinions, egos, laughter fits, financial crunches, messy hands, frantic phone calls, gifts, chocolates, flowers, colours...everything.

in one sentence, i would say that it was one of the BEST times of my life. not just the hostel night itself, but the whole run up to it: the rehearsals, the shopping for prizes, breaking our heads over budgeting all the prizes, the auto rides, the random jokes which only a select few would understand and find funny, the goof ups, the confusions.

There was the shopping in a myriad of places; ARCHIES (whether its the priyas one or the one in satya niketan, both feel like home now), NESTLE (nothing short of a trip to chocolate heaven- where/when else in my life would i have been given 4000 bucks and told to shop for chocolates?! even if they werent for me!), the local phool wala (i have never argued over gende ke phool and rose petals in my life!). i did rangoli, picked up bricks, helped with the backdrop, ran around all over the place, watched the same dances and heard the same songs over and over again.

I was honoured multiple times (!)- i signed certificates, lit the lamp, gave out presents to chief guests...something which i had never ever done in my life. and if i ever do it again, it sure cant be as much as fun as it has been now.

last year, i won a prize for being the best dancer. it was a pleasant surprise, coz i hadnt danced with the intention of winning anything. this year, there were no such surprises, it was all about backstage work, the work that no one really sees. but there was a strange kind of fulfillment this year, this hostel night, was MY hostel night. mridang 08 was fun for the dances, the songs and the people...mridang 09 was fun for the sense of ownership i had over it. from start to finish, i was there throughout.

as creyzeee would say, "it was the besht!"



(one of the reasons why hostel nite was special- THIS is the collage which me and two of my dearies made and won FIRST prize, out of 13 teams...many of these teams actively dislike us for our nonsensical behaviour. and this victory, was a :P for them!)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

random old post

Was going through my old blog, and found this post. This incident happened about two years ago, May 07, right around the time when I had gone to Bahrain after my final undergrad exams.

There's some strange, almost divine connection between the Raghunathan family and nights without electricity...we have a way of managing through nights with NO power. No matter which part of the world we are, its something which just finds us...

at around 6 pm yesterday, when Mrs. R and Ms. R (yours truly :D) returned from their evening walk, they see the entrance of their beloved Biljeek building clouded in darkness, implying a power cut, IMPLYING that the main gates won't open...so Mrs. R, worried about the younger Mr.R inside, calls up the house..

Mrs. R: "There's no power, how do we get in? What are u doing alone in the darkness?"
the younger Mr.R: "There is electricity. Wait i'm coming to the main door."

Soon enough, the doors are pushed open by the younger Mr.R and when the three walk into the house, they see just the lobby bulbs burning wayyyyyyyyy too brightly...apparently, none of the bulbs were working and there was a lot of fluctuation happening. Not really bothered too much about the situation, Mrs. R and Ms. R proceed to take their post exercise showers (separately of course)...and in a matter of a few minutes, both the bathrooms have NO light...so amidst a lot of shouting and voltage fluctuations, both the ladies, shower quickly and come out...sure enough, its just the main lobby light which was shining wayyyyyyyy too brightly. Mrs. R then decides to call Bahauddin, the Bangladeshi caretaker of the building.

Mrs. R: "Bahauddin, jaldi aao, bahut electricity fluctuation ho raha hai"

While this conversation was taking place, Ms. R hears a loud noise, which sounds like a tire bursting, and also like the sound the washing machine makes when its done washing the clothes.

Ms. R : I heard something strange...maybe its from outside?"
the younger Mr. R: "THERE'S SMOKE IN THE TV ROOM!!! THE TV'S BURNING!"

Mrs. R (still on the phone with Bahauddin): "BAHAUDDIN, HAMARA TV BURST HO GAYA...JALDI AAO!" (undoubtedly one of my favourite moments of the evening)

Coming back to the smoke in the tv room, sure enough, there's a whole cloud of smoke coming from the back of television and Ms. R and the younger Mr.R quickly turn of all the switches in the house and open the windows in the TV room...Mrs. R meanwhile calls Mr. R and tells him to come home quickly, owing to the crisis situation. Meanwhile only one light is on at the house, which too fluctuates constantly.

So, Mr. R comes and true to his reputation as problem solver, goes out and finds out what the scene is like...he comes back with the news that every house in the building has had some mishap of the TV bursting variety. Later it is discovered that the whole electrical wiring of the building is totally burnt, so the small electricians go after inspecting and promise to send the other more experienced ones soon. It seems as if the night will be long. In the meantime, the one lone light which was bringing some brightness to the house, also goes off...so the house runs on one candle, and two cellphones.
By 9 30 it is decided that both the Mr.R's will go to the embassy to sleep in Mr. R's spacious office room, as the younger Mr. R has to get up at 5 the next morning to go to school. Meanwhile, Mrs. R and Ms. R lie down on the kitchen floor (the only place, apart from the bathrooms of the house, which is NOT carpeted), pillows in tow. The men leave, only to be back in a few minutes saying that apparently the electricians will come soon.

With a brief interruption caused by the ringing of Mr. R's cellphone at 11 pm, Ms. R sleeps off peacefully in the kitchen floor (thus adding further evidence to the theory that she can sleep ANYWHERE) and is woken at 12 30 by the bright tubelight of the kitchen and Mr. R saying that there's a generator at work and we can all sleep peacefully now.

Waking up at 6 30 am the next morning, Ms. R finds out that everything which was plugged in, has been damaged; microwave, refrigerator, two air conditioners, laptop charger, one cell phone charger, cordless phone and of course, the burnt TV. The whole day then proceeds with a bunch of electricians walking in and out of the house, taking fridge, microwave with them and other people coming to inspect the air conditioners...

of course, the funniest joke of the day involved a punjabi electrician and Mr. R.
punjabi electrician, walking into Biljeek building and looking at Mr. R says "Good night sirji."
Mr. R (pausing for a fraction of a second, wondering WHY on earth the electrician was saying good night when he's just come in, then realizing that it was his way of wishing...akin to good morning, good evening) replies back "Good night ji, kaise ho?"...it was one of those, you had to be there moments.

oh what a night....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

These are a few of my favourite things...revisited

so i wanted to update my blog. but couldnt think of what to write about. dissertation has been whined and cribbed about, the love for HIMYM has been discussed; i live a boring life so nothing exciting really happens...well nothing worth a blog post really, no current event has really affected/bugged/touched me. i dont want to write about the movies i have seen or the books i have read...not for now at least. and i didn't want to write about a stone (as I had once advised a friend who was just as clueless as to what to write about)

so decided to tweak an old post of mine, from my old blog. It was inspired by one of my favourite songs "these are a few of my favourite things..." from one of my favourite movies since childhood (even before DDLJ happened)- THE SOUND OF MUSIC- the best musical ever! On re-reading the post, I realized that some things were obsolete (like DU strikes/U-specials) and some needed to be added (like South Campus!).
So here it is, the revised edition of some of my favourite things in the world, things which make me smile/laugh/happy.


curling up in a bed and reading a novel. DDLJ. practically anything with sugar in it. watching a movie first day first show. family reunions. new years. birthdays. playing cards till the wee hours of the morning with family. waiting at the airport or station to recieve someone. when india wins against pakistan. weddings. good hair days. chatting with old friends online. seeing the indian flag. hugging. my nephews. singing off key. travelling.F.R.I.E.N.D.S. my friends. staying up all night and talking. south campus. BONDING TIME. manhattan at night. laughing so hard my tummy hurts. piping hot pizza. the smell of rain. shopping for hours and then finding the perfect outfit. internet.getting a sweet sms from a loved one. 'flying on a jet plane'. shah rukh khan. MOVIES. writing. my parents. my family. compliments. romantic stories. waking up to a beautiful morning. gossip. the smell of rain. standing up for the national anthem and singing it at the top of my lungs. coffee. getting emails. old photographs. sitting in the winter sun. hot tea in the afternoons. HARRY POTTER. little kids. wearing new clothes. diwali. doing 108 at the temple. praying and getting what i want. surprises. the delhi skyline from the skies. paneer. canadian fall. the first snow of the winter. passionately about something. talking for hours on the phone. re-reading my favourite parts from my favourite books. hearing a favourite song being played on the radio. waking up from a nice long nap. reliving old memories.

this was FUN...i think ill do it again sometime :)

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

HIMYM

that's How I Met Your Mother. my latest obsession (courtesy the twin).

im a die hard F.R.I.E.N.D.S loyalist. much of my wisdom, humour, anecdotes, basically MUCH of what I say can be traced back to friends. i think ive seen all the episodes, and some I know like the back of my hand. i may not be able to watch all the episodes again (or maybe i can); but i LOVE the concept of friends till date. its the awesomest show EVER.

I liked HIMYM from the first episode. But I thought it had a serious Friends hangover. The same central place of hanging out (in this its a pub), five friends, the right cocktail of madness and seriousness...a lot of similarities. But then again, everything in the world can be related to Friends.

howEVER, HIMYM is HIMYM. ross rachel phoebe monica chandler joey can NEVER be replaced...but i have grown to love marshall/lily's love story, ted's quest to find the perfect girl (he's such a perfect guy), robin's weird job of a news anchor for a segment which NO one watches and of course barney...aah barney; with his suits, his lingo (awesome-ness and legendary are barney words from now on) and his crazy wacky ideas. they are awesome people, and their lives are super fun to watch.

I officially louveeee HIMYM :)